About a year ago, I learned of an upcoming book by Milan Ford, titled 83 Things I Wish The Black Church Would Stop Doing. The title, alone, stood out to me and I was intrigued to read it. When I researched it a bit more, I learned that, in his book, Ford would discuss whether many traditions of the “black church” are partly responsible for what he perceives is a growing apathy towards faith and religion in today’s generation.
Cut to me, months later, and I’d completely forgotten about the book. But a GospelPundit reader recently emailed me and asked if I’d heard of it or read it, as she was just about to finish it. I told her that I’d intended to read it and to let me know how it was.
Her “response” was so well-written and thoughtful that I decided “why not just use this as her review for the site?!”
So, ladies and gents, I present to you Melissa Tyler Wells. Melissa hails from New Orleans, LA and is a graduate of Louisiana State University. She is a fundraiser, writer and singer. Melissa is currently working on a book, herself, focused on empowering young girls. She is a member of the praise team at Household of Faith Family Worship Church International in Harvey, LA.
Here’s what Melissa’s got to say about the book:
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I have finished the book. I laughed, I cried, I turned my face up into a scowl and a big Kool-Aid smile. I think a lot of what Milan observed highlights the well-known fact that the church is resistant to change and, therefore, is losing influence on an ever-changing world. I like that he did not hold his tongue, using examples and citing traditions that would probably offend many well-known gospel artists, multi-church fellowships and prominent Pastors tied to today’s black church.
I wish he would have expounded on the various traditions the way that he did with Watch Night Services and a couple others, because the fact is that traditions, no matter how outdated, began with a relevant need. I think if you are going to expose unnecessary tradition and encourage people to change, you need to do more to break down why they are no longer necessary.
That being said, the “black church” is no different from a lot of other religious institutions that cling to tradition. Take a look at the Catholic Church. It is very bogged down in traditions its own members don’t understand. Over time that church has seen huge schisms, loss of members, relevance and ability to affect change, because it refused to change and leave old traditions where they belong. I am not saying that we should do what the world does and I know that we must be different and set standards, but a lot of that simply has nothing to do with our traditions.
To me, the whole book points to the fact that the Word says, he who wins souls is wise. If we would spend more time on that and less time making sure you held up your finger while exiting the sanctuary during service or covered your skirt with a cloth while seated or always wore hose with your skirt (things he did not mention), then maybe we could do more to carry out our mission as the body of Christ.
As we begin to look back at the short history of the “black church” in America, perhaps this book will inspire and mark a historic shift in the way we “do church” (I could not resist). I was watching Ever Increasing Faith Ministries and the Pastor was saying he believed that Christ would not come back until his church (body) was unified, and I think he may be on to something. Until we are the church and not just the “black church” we will miss the mark. This book is definitely food for thought and should be required reading for all leaders in ministry in any “black church.”
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And there you have it, folks. To learn more about Milan Ford’s 83 Things I Wish The Black Church Would Stop Doing and/or to buy it, you can visit his website by clicking here.
I think it sounds like a cool book and I’m definitely (once again) inclined to check it out. Thanks for the write-up, Melissa!
Let me (and Melissa) know what you think of the review!
Please tell me he mentions cliche sayings like "Godly Proud!" What in the heck is Godly proud and where in the heck is it in the Bible?! Smh...
A suggestion to mylum's question: Matthew 17:4-6 "While he yet spake, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them: and behold a voice out of the cloud, which said, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased; hear ye him." I'm going to check out this book. :-)
LOL @ mylum! Did he mention anything about saying "Godt"...yes, with a "t", LOL. Or, "on tonight". For example, "We're here ON TONIGHT, to blah, blah...". And does clapping REALLY confuse the enemy? LOL. And why do folks look mad once they "get happy"? HA! I could do this all night...
I have to get this book, I could make it 100, and give 17 more!! Great job, Melissa and EJ, thanks for letting her share. Some foolishness that i have seen since a child "done rose-ded" on up in my spirit!! :)
@v4c what about "mand of God?" lol!
INTRESTING EXCELLANT JOB MELISSA, EJ,...I'M A DRUMMER! AND IT'S STAND'S OUT A LIL MORE I SEE THINGG'S THAT I DON'T LIKE BUT I THINK THE BOTTOM LINE IS R MINDSET'S THE DEVIL IS A LIAR!! I LIKE TO CALL EM A (TRAPSTAR) IF U THINK ABOUT IT HE'S MAD AT ME RITENOW!! I DON'T CARE..I BIND HIM IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!! ..IT STOOD OUT TO ME ALSO THE TITLE, (I WISH) Y ISN'T IT(83 THING'S I PRAY THE BLACK CHURCH WOULD STOP DOING) I FEEL TRADITION IS STILL PRUDENT IN A STRONG SORT TODAY IN CHURCH ASK THE ELDERS! THANX BLESS ALL!
lol! he only came up with 83? will someone please post their review of the book once they read it? this brotha is on a budget...
The review sounds so funny, I have to find the book. One tradition that seriously needs to stop are those big chandelier hats! It's a church service not a circus. If a person insists on wearing those lamp shades they need to sit in the back. Enough is enough when you are blocking screens. One more annoying tradition is recognition of a select group of people before presentations. If we are to esteem others higher than ourselves (as recorded in the bible), why not just give honor to all instead of mentioning all those names. Just say "I honor you all and leave it alone! *Please read the example intro below: I give honor to Elder so and so, and Rev. Dr. "Who" and Evangelist "Ms. Thang" and Prophetess "Whomever", and Apostle "Show Off" and Bishop "Know it All"...JUST GET ON WITH THE SERVICE!
The comments are interesting. Keep em coming. If you do read the book, please share your thoughts. I'd love to know whether you disagree/agree with my assessment.
The book seems interesting, I personally think that the church need to stop putting rules and regulations at the top before getting people saved. Tradition is not what is going to matter in the end, do you know Jesus is the question that will only matter.
@ mylum - LMBO! YES! Whoever started that mess has some explaining to do, LOL. One mo'thang...if you lay hands on me, don't go pushing me back trying to make me fall. Let the Spirit buckle my knees...please and thank you! Hmph... ;-)
Thanks Melissa, EJ, and GospelPundit.com for providing a review for my book, 83 Things I Wish The Black Church Would Stop Doing. Very honored by this.
Well done, Melissa! I will have to get this book so my mother and I can read it.
Thanks for the review Melissa. This sounds like a book from which we can all learn. We need to be serious about knowing our potential audience, communicating to the lost and discipling the saved.
The book is suppose to arrive from Amazon on Thursday. I predict that it will be one of those sessions in which I am unable to put the book down. The website is timely and eye catching..possibly the beginning of a well awaited movement. I called a relative in to take a peek: It was that moving. It's actually very encouraging that there are people who are that observant and willing to speak up about what they see. Cause if someone else tries to tell me how and when I will be blessed according to how much I give..... or refer to all gained as godliness or set a constantly changing and unbiblical criteria for holding office.......
I would like to read this book as i am a member of a black church at the moment. I would like to see somethings stopped. Like dressing like your in a fashion show. Eyes starring from the pulpit to the door when you come in. People wondering who you came with and if you date them. That's just pure noseyness and its in the "black church". lol i have to read this book. Just somethings i noticed on my own lol.
I haven't read the book yet, but from what I'm reading from the responders is that there is some trivial stuff in the book. I see nothing wrong with a women covering herself up , or rather wearing appropriate clothing when when sitting in the front pew( sex and temptation in the pulpit is real folks), whats wrong with the hats....big deal. Since he can tell me 83 things that are wrong, can he tell me of 83 things that are right. While I'm sure there are some legitmate issues the author brings up, does he have 83 things that the black church is doin' right.
@ Cnote - Many of us are just poking fun, lol. The book may mention some random, funny stuff but from the website, it looks like most of what's mentioned is serious and worth investigating...
@Cnote: Big deal on the hats? If you can barely see what is happening during the service because someone decided to wear a satellite dish on their head, that is a big deal. I haven't read the book yet, but I mentioned one annoying tradition based on my opinion. I don't know if that is mentioned in the book or not. I have also heard people say they feel uncomfortable coming because of the level of emphasis on outward appearance. I usually end up explaining how it became so far out of line. The explanations have helped. Clearly, there are MANY traditions that are not explained to people, yet people are criticized and given negative looks because they do not conform. Again, I admire someone who identifies the issue at hand. If you listen and think you can learn. If you just follow the group without using the bible ( the real guide) you just might be lead away from the Lord instead of towards him. I'm responding to your post because I can understand and admire your view of focusing on what's positive as well. You just made me more impatient for the delivery on Thurs. I am curious about the balance he presents even more.
@Cnote I think you are right about temptation in the pulpit, but I personally don't think women should be required to wear stockings/pantyhose or neccesarily wear skirts down to their ankles. I am, however, all for modest and dressing appropriately. That being said, temptation exists everywhere, and most of us spend most of our time outside the four walls of the church, where people wear whatever they want. Anyway, that was my own personal observation on a couple traditions that can go. If you read the book, I think you will find that there are things that Milan does like about the "black church" and is quick to recognize that some of these traditions have significant cultural meaning. I'd love to hear your thoughts once you have read the book.
Melissa, what a strong, quality email you wrote! I enjoyed your assessment and have a few of my own to add, if they're not covered in the book, which I will definitely be reading.
Everyone: I finally received my copy of the book in the mail. Let me tell you: This author is just telling you what is happening! In fact, I look forward to another part. It was as I assumed based on the review. I am willing to make some changes where I can. One thing for sure, he definitely models presentation and I love the analogies. I'm glad I found it for a reasonable price on Amazon.com.
There are some traditions in the black church that need to change; but there are many that need to stay. Some that need to change: male domination of the pulpit; women can lead (remember Deborah!). Single women who "worship" the pastor and create ministers with tremendous egos, low accountability and overstuffed TV cribs purchased by the congregation. The ridiculous amount of wigs and weaves. Traditions that need to stay: remembering that Communion is a holy vow of service, not the place where you "walk out" so you can get to your car before others from service; babies that are rocked quietly on the lap and kept quiet so all can enjoy the service; that the church is not the place to dress like a hoochie momma---modesty is requested by God (that's Biblical!). Respect for elders; songs in which you can actually recognize that the subject of the song is GOD!!! Music that reflects the full range of what black people have created: traditional anthems, gospel, great choral singing, in addition to the new "hip hop" gospel---don't throw out the baby with the bath water. And most of all---ministers and a congregation that want to change THE WORLD by being activists within it---not just people who want to go to marriage ministry and single ministry retreats. Some new things that need to be killed: VIP seating at church concerts and within the pews. There are no VIP{s with Christ...find one in the Bible. I dare you. Can you imagine Jesus offering VIP seating for the Sermon on the Mount? Come on people! I would love to see a black church that calls people to true ministry: caring for the sick and shut in, advocating for the poor, sending congregants to Africa, Haiti and the deep south of America, where many blacks still live as they did before the Civil Rights movement. I would love to see a black church that is not afraid to openly denounce homosexuality, even if the musicians are gay. I would like to see a black church that builds schools to educate our lost black children, instead of monuments to televangelist vanity. I don't know if any of this is in the book, but I hope so.
Does he talk about how black churches will "church" their members and everyone knows except the one who has received this dirty deal? I hope this Tradition stops.
I'm definitely coming back to check out your site in depth. This is goooood stuff.
The book seems interesting, I personally think that the church need to stop putting rules and regulations at the top before getting people saved. Tradition is not what is going to matter in the end, do you know Jesus is the question that will only matter.